I-Ching 46 Pushing upward
It’s the first week of winter in the southern hemisphere, and finally, after a full moon, I have been able to receive a different hexagram, number 46, Pushing Upward or Ascending. I had done my best to be patient, mainly with myself, during a short retreat, so I could get back in touch with my inner world. I could hear myself clearly again. I could maintain the core of who I am, but the pieces of my life outside that were changing, and the compass of my life was setting me in a new direction. This time, I surrendered to the need to know and just had my bags packed just in case.
Hexagram 46 represents moving towards a new beginning. It requires the virtue of patience and the wisdom to strike once when necessary, but until then, to slowly build a solid foundation. Looking back, I wonder why I thought life had to be done at 100mph, and while I enjoyed the fast pace at which everything moved, I failed to gauge how strong my brakes would be if I were ever faced with a harsh impact. Slowly building a new foundation in my health has reset my perception of what I value the most now. This all felt like the Fool card in tarot. I was once again on the verge of a new beginning, but this time it felt more intentional than ever. I have just finished my death doula program before the full moon and felt like I was making an agreement to fully leave the past behind me.
I have often asked myself how many rebirths a person could go through in their life, and the answer was clear, endless.There was an agreement I had made with myself long before this moment. To watch the ego without becoming it. To welcome humility when the universe decided I needed it, and it always decides eventually. To remember that I am a student first, that Earth is the school and the lessons do not stop coming simply because you think you have learned enough. That part felt steady in me. What I was less prepared for was the loneliness that seemed to arrive with every layer I shed. Each rebirth left me feeling strangely less tethered to the people around me, not out of arrogance, but out of an awareness I wasn't sure how to bridge. We could all be at a beginning, and yet beginnings are not equal things. Some people are starting from the surface. Others are starting from somewhere much further down. And I was finding it harder to pretend I couldn't feel the difference. I tried not to let that get in the way of my current upward growth. I forced myself out of the house and set off towards consistent determination.
I headed straight for the herbal shop and knew exactly was I was looking for. What I didn’t expect was the kindness and sensitivity I was met by the girl working there that day. There was a gentleness to her that I recognized immediately. The kind that belongs to someone who feels everything but has learned to move through the world softly, wanting connection without demanding to be noticed for it. It was the type of grace I knew I wanted to embody when meeting people. Instead of rushing off with my things, I felt her invitation to speak on why I was there in the first place, so I let myself be, and I spoke honestly. She paused and said she had lit a candle this Wednesday for women who were healing their wombs to come in. That the candle served as an invitation for people to come in and seek what they needed. This moment reminded me of why it was important for me to be mindful of my natural instinct for isolation. These moments remind me I am exactly where I need to be, pace and all. I thanked her for her part in bringing it all together. We both wanted to believe, and in that moment, we let each other show up as the person we are.
This hexagram is bringing me back to discipline, and why it has never stopped mattering. I could be tired of rebuilding. But somewhere along the way, without realizing it, all that rebuilding made me an architect who knows exactly what she is doing. All I need to do is meet every new opportunity with gratitude and openness. It wasn’t about buying new tools; it was about sharpening the old ones and asking for help instead of taking on all the pressure. I was ready for what’s coming without doubt, just pure readiness.
